You Donut

I want Gordon Ramsay's job.
Not the part where he yells at people in a fake restaurant for a game show.
Not even the part where he runs a bunch of fancy-pants real restaurants.

I want to be able to go into a business and tell them straight-out what they're doing wrong, a la Kitchen Nightmares (the British version that is - the US version is a little too fake for my tastes). I'd probably do a little less yelling and swearing, but I like the concept.

No dancing around the fact that certain employees are incompetent. No pretending that the owner's ideas are good. No being held back by "This is they way we've always done it" thinking.

If anybody wants someone to come into their business and do this, let me know. I'd probably do it for a pretty decent price.